WHAT SHOULD I DO??

唉。。。我真的不知怎么办好。。怎样才是最好的?

"我做了这个决定会后悔吗？我现在会开心过以前吗？？"。。。。。

很多问题我答不出。。。

我是考虑了很久才有勇气做出这个决定的。。

我知道他对我很好。。很爱我。。

也很难找到像他这种人。。

但我也不能勉强自己。。我不能骗自己更不能骗他。。

但他现在变成这个样子。。我好难受。。

我已经很努力地尝试过了。。但我还是做不到。。

我很清楚也很了解自己的心

我不想他再花时间在我身上了。。。

但我知道他很难会放弃我。。。

我应该怎样呢？？？

还要继续吗？还是忍心一点呢？

WHAT IS "FRIEND"?

“朋友”

到底这两个字的定义是什么？

我发觉我身边的朋友渐渐减少了。。。

我真的很难过。。。

到底我做错了什么？为什么大家都这样对我？？

是我变了吗？？变得有那么讨人厌吗？

一个认识了五年，坐我隔壁的朋友。。。以前我们的感情都很好的。。有说有笑..
就算不和。。最终也会好回。。可是却不懂发生了什么事。。她对我完全不同了。。

每天见面连一句话都不懂有没有。。

我曾经问过她原因。。但她却不说。。我好无奈！

看着她跟别的朋友很好。。却当我连一个普通朋友都不如的感觉。。真的很难受。。

到底发生了什么大件事？就算不爽我。。也要给我个理由啊。。别让我胡乱猜测。。那么无辜。。

当初当我知道她跟我读同一间学院而且是同一系。。我真的很开心。。

可是过了不久。。她突然对我冷淡了很多。。。

她却不知道我有多么珍惜她这位朋友。。多么的想跟她一起。。回到以前那样。。做任何事都是一起的。。。

但现在她似乎连位子都不想和我一起坐了。。我跟她有仇吗？为什么要这样避开我？

不只她，班上跟我同一组的朋友也是一样。。她们都时常当我是透明的。。

只会有事或需要我帮忙时才会当我存在。。。

在学校去哪里都不跟我讲一声。。走就走。。害我时常孤独一人的。。。

这种感觉我已逐渐习惯了。。

我时常都活在一个很孤独的世界里。。没有朋友的陪同。。。真的很想哭。。

我以为我会过个开心的学院生活。。但跟她们一起。。我一点都不开心。。

很后悔当初跟她们同一组。。不然我现在或许跟新的朋友会过得很开心。。

很多人都叫我不要和她们一起。。去认识别的朋友。。可是我就是做不到。。因为我期待有一天。。我们的感情会变好。。

我已经很努力逗大家开心。。时常讲笑话，找话题。。但最后这些都是没用的。。。 

她们对我还是那样。。我真的很讨厌！！实在忍无可忍了！！！

我希望下个学期开始我可以不用跟她们一起做任何事。。可以和别的朋友过得开心点。。。

还有我的姐妹。。她们本来是我最要好，最需要的朋友。。

但我也发现她们对我不同了。。

我一有时间就会想到她们，想跟她们一起

但就算她们得空。。也不会约我的。。

时常都是我做主动约她们。。但有时也是失望收场。。。

就连我的生日。。她们也不在乎吧。。但我是多么的重视。。

她们说的不得空，没钱，我想都是借口吧。。最重要是有没有心啊。。

因为后来我发觉那不是她们口中所说的那样。。因为我看得出来。。

没错。。大家现在都有各自的生活。。可能感情没酱好那是正常的。。

但我感觉得到，我在她们的心里已经不重要了。。

就连我小学那位好朋友时常约我出来的。。但现在也没回应了。。我也不想打扰她了

反而是那些跟我不是很熟的朋友对我好，会约我。。跟我一起，出街，谈天等等

我自问对大家都很好。。。但为什么我的人缘酱差呢？？

为何突然会这样。。

我一直再三反复的思考。。我做过什么不对的事。。我真的想不到。。。

可能我在无意中伤害了你们。。做错了什么。。。在这里。。我跟你们道歉。。

对不起。。请你们原谅我。。希望你们会当我是真正的朋友。。。

因为我是真心当你们是我朋友的。。。

我不懂是不是我想多了。。变得偏激了。。。

总之。。现在的我真的很不开心。。因为时常面对的朋友对我的态度。。令我很难受。。。但我还要笑着面对她们。。。她们却一点都不在乎我。。

现在我才知道原来朋友的角色的确很重要。。
一个人没有了朋友。。就算有什么。。也不会开心的。。

MY 18TH BIRTHDAY 2011!!

hohoho....~18 sui~bok bok cui!!!XDDD

19/10/11

 the 1st thing i received for my bday is this!! 

"a small little cute angry bird cake"

haha

1 of my classmates gave me...quite nice!thx very much!!

"CHEESECAKE" 

This cake is the same person who gave me the angry bird cake bought 4 me....it was shared by the whole class....

once i hv finished my individual english presentation, all of my classmates sent msg to me with this picture...i was blurred when i saw the messages since i hv not seen the real cake...

but i'm regret tat i couldn't received all the msg from my classmates since all the msg are mms..the size is quite big till my memory was insufficient to receive it...

frens...i'm so sry 4 tat...i didn't received all of your wishes....

after class...they hv prepared a nice video and displayed it inside the class and sang birthday song to me....i was absolutely touched and surprised!!!

but since the class is going to use by another group... the time was limited...therefore they just celebrate with me in a very short time><

after class, all of my frens were disappeared....just a few of frens were sharing enjoyed the cake outside of the class....

anyway....i'm reli appreciate tat!!

TQ VERY MUCH 4 ALL THE PREPARATION AND SURPRISES...ESPECIALLY THE VIDEO...I RELI LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! IT WAS ABSOLUTELY INTERESTING!!! I'M GLAD TO ENJOY THE VIDEO!!!

I WILL KEEP IT FOREVER!!!

* the video size is too big till i couldn't upload here...it hv already uploading for hours...but it seems like failed to upload even on FB too..><

sad...i couldn't share it with u guys....T_T

NEXT~~~AT NIGHT........

 He brought me to pavilion KAMPACHI for dinner....tat is his suggestion....

frankly....there was quite expensive....i kept on saying tat to him...but he said it's ok><

i dunno whether it's worth or not==

"this is my set dinner"

after dinner...we went to watch a movie there...my bday-12am was passed through inside the cinema...(i think it was 1st time)

after tat... he gave me these as presents~~~~

this flower was a surprise 4 me!

a necklace is inside it....

"BLUEBERRY CHEESE CAKE"

i blown the candle inside the car==

Do u noticed tat???all is purple...whahaha...i love it so much!!!

this might be my 1st time for receiving so many presents from a person....

THANKS VERY MUCH!!!! I felt happiness and pleasurable!

thanks for treating me very well...I'M TOUCHED!!!

THE NEXT DAY (MY ACTUAL BDAY)

*20.10.11*

hoho....my mum hv prepared this "set meal" for me in the morning....

it is only once in the world....NOT FOR SALES...XD...U CAN'T ENJOY IT ANYWHERE!

Every year, my mum mostly will prepare tat for us...

it is sweet and warmth!!!

THX MUM!!! 

In the afternoon, my dearest mum brought me to a japanese restaurant...

again~~becoz i love japanese cuisine very much!!hhaha....

 I ordered this...it's not bad...

my mum had requested from the waitress whether anything entitled to me(for birthday ppl)

later on, after we finished our meal, the manager gave me a cake for free...and all the waitress there sang a birthday song to me...it was quite enjoyable!!XD

tat's the cake!!

AT NIGHT~~~

i went to a dinner at SAMOSA(taman billion)- a western restaurant

with my dad,siblings and grandparents....

 this is my dinner>>LAMB SHANK

mmmm....Delicious...hahaha

this is the 1st time we been there....the meals are not bad and quite worth...

it's not very expensive!

 after dinner>>> cut cake session again.....

this is YOGURT CAKE...not bad too!^^

*21/10/11* 

we go out yam cha together....

wauu!!! it seems like my bday was great and full of happiness....

but.....frankly...i'm unhappy tat my sistas were not celebrating bday with me....or even give me a little present><

but when they bday...mostly i'm the 1 who plan, celebrate and give them presents for years....

but at the end...they just yam cha with me as normal day....ntg special at all...

they may not realized tat they are the important roles who i wish to celebrate bday with the MOST!

i even date them by myself...but they rejected me><

haizzz....i'm quite upset for tat....

anyway.....it's ok.....actually....it's predictable 4 me....

MY 1ST SEM RESULTS

HEHEHE....

FINALLY MY 1ST SEM RESULTS HAVE RELEASED ON 21/9/11

ERMM....I GT ALL A'S FOR ALL THE SUBJECTS EXCEPT FOR ENG WHICH IS A-

GPA is 3.9464

I'm quite satisfied with it but the most happiest thing was i dont need to pay any fees even any sen in SEM 2....hahaha

 

IT  WAS GREAT!!!!XD

HOPEFULLY I COULD MAINTAIN IT OR GET EVEN BETTER RESULTS IN OTHERS SEMS...

but.....for this moment, when i just started sem 2....i hv already felt confused and blurred on my accounting subject(fundamentals of accounting)....just only lecture 1, it is complicated 4 me....T_T

felt like gonna mad n give up soon....

frankly....i'm not very interested in accounting....is just tat i hv 2 fulfill what my dad wants...><

dunno why.....ytd night i'm having headache until now....it's quite suffering!!!

after ate panadol...seems like is getting better now....

haizzz.....dunno want to go check with doctor anot.... 

GOODBYE TO SEM 1!

HAHA...

FINALLY MY EXAM IS OVER ! SAY GOODBYE TO SEM 1!

I'M HAVING HOLIDAY NOW TO 18/9

SEM2 COMMENCES ON 19/9

GONNA RELAX MYSELF AND RELIEVE MY STRESS AND TENSION IN TIS HOLIDAY!

BUT....WHAT TO DO??==

WISHED TO HANG OUT WITH MY FRENS....

HOPE THEY CAN MAKE IT....

FRENS...RMB TO DATE ME WHEN U FREE YA...^^

MISS YOU GUYS!!

ohyaa....hope i could gt my results in 4.0!(if possible)><

FINAL EXAM

MY FINAL EXAM OF TIS SEM IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER!!

STARTS FROM NEXT WED(17/8) UNTIL 25/8

*sunday also need 2 exam...IShshhh!!!

after that i would enjoying about 3 weeks of holidays~hoho

I BELIEVE I CAN FLY...XD

BUSY 4 PREPARING MY EXAM NOW....

nervous huh???!

going to seat 4 my 1st final exam in college soon! and 1st holiday too...haha

hopefully i could gt good results and maintain it...

if not....MY SCHOLARSHIP GONNA WITHDRAWS FROM COLLEGE!!

As usual...i wont be available here nor facebook during my exam...

so....see ya~^^

those who want to date me or hang out with me...feel free to do so after my exam...xD..mostly i wont reject u anymore...hehe

GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF THE TARC-IANS!!XD

BYE!

YEAHHH!!THE 5TH!!!!

WWOohhOO!!!

our group awarded THE 5TH in the dancing competition which held on last saturday at TARC!!

OUR GROUP NAME IS "RE~VOGUE"!!!(such a special name)

RE-VOGUE!!! RMB....WE R THE BEST!!!!...hohoho

WELL DONE!!

CONGRATZ TO PEANALUTION TOO!!! whose group is the same dancing class wif us! THEIR performance is THE BEST!!!xD

congratz to all who had awarded anything in the competition too!!

actually i couldn't believe or expect that we will in the top 5...

among of 23 groups...many of them performed well!

when the top 10 result announced, i wish that we would be at least between No.8-10..

but we couldn't gt that...i was sad at 1st....we thought we gt nothing at all!

finally the MC announced our group name is the FIFTH!!!

Ohh yeahhHH!!i was absolutely excited on that moment!!

we rushed to the stage and received the prize!!

I'm delighted till almost wanna cry!!

it was hard to describe my feelings and mood on that time!

all of us were extremely high and excited!!xD

We spent much time and sacrificed a lot for the competition~

and now~here's the RESULT!!!

thx god!!! till now...i'm still very happy!haha....

although the prizes wasn't good and quite cheap..guess wat is it???it's vase...xD...

but it's not important...the most important is we gt the FIFTH!!haha

and the vase is memorable to me!! IT'S A SYMBOL OF OUR SUCCESSFUL..hehe

at night, we went to SW GREENBOX to celebrate our achievement!

we had an enjoyable time there~

but felt pity that 1 of our member didn't come along wif us~T_T

although sometimes we were argue or dislike each other due to something...but i'm really appreciate our friendship from the day we were in the same group....

the competition is mean the final of our CO-CU(contempory dance) which is just for 1 sem...

i didn't regret that i hv participated in this dancing class....it is fun and enjoyable...i learnt a lot of interesting dance and met a lot of new frens there....

although sometimes i had struggle of give up 4 practice dancing....coz it really made me exhausted and neglected for my studies....

but now....when the result released....it told me that it is WORTH!!!

I WILL MISS THE MOMENT WE WERE TOGETHER AND WISH THAT OUR FRIENDSHIP CAN LAST LONGER ALTHOUGH WE JUST BEEN TOGETHER FOR A FEW MONTHS......

Ohyaa~i would like to appreciate my best friends and some1 who had came surprisingly to support me in the competition day...I'M REALLY HAPPY AND SURPRISED TO SEE U GUYS THERE!!!

and THX TO THOSE WHO SUPPORT ME!!!

TQ SO MUCH!!!!!hehe....

if u want 2 see our dancing video....u can click on the link below to check it out!xD

http://www.facebook.com/groups/163666833702450/

thx...

~~~~~~CHEEERSSSS~~~~~

hoOraYY!!

hohoho.........

On this month (June), I hv owned 2 new stuffs without any of my expenses!!haha

18/6- I hv changed 2 a new hp (Nokia 5800 XpressMusic)

actually it should considered as a second-hand phone which is given by my bro...

but i think tis phone would be better than my previous phone.....

however, in terms of quality of the hp's camera...my ex-hp might be better than it....

anyway...as long as my phone has been upgraded and improved...i hv ad felt delighted and contented !!^^

While the second stuff is.......LAPTOP which i have just received on 27/6...

it's my dad bought 4 me as a reward of my SPM result for the purpose of my studies....

The brand is DELL n it's red(no purple><)...but it's nice too!!^^

altot it's not very expensive(below 2000)...but I really appreciate n cherish it!!

finally i hv owned a laptop for my ownself....no need 2 lend or dispute from my bro n sis...

i could use it any time i want!! hehe....

tq very much 2 my dad!!!

I felt excited n I love it very much!!!xD

Last Monday,I hv completed my HE n ENG presentations as well as my dancing test on the same day!

it's really exhausted!my brain was very heavy tat day as i hv 2 memorize all the contents!

Finally I hv done it!! i was very happy...xD

Furthermore, i hv obtained good marks on my tests....

I felt satisfied wif it....

but it's just the beginning...still hv more tests are around the corner....

hopefully i could perform well on my tests....

haizzz....tmr n saturday hv 2 attend 2 college just for 1 hour n 30 minutes on both of the days.....i dislike tat!! but we hv no choice...T_T

ErRmm....actually I had start 2 like TARC now....

TARC is seems like a shopping complex every day...xD

they always sell a lot of things there....

in fact, it's fun and enjoyable as there always held a lot of activities!

be4 tis, i might think negatively about college life....but actually....i just realized tat it still has some enjoyable times there! (only when i'm free)^^

MISS MY SISTAS SOooooOOO MUCHH!!!!

duno how r them n how's everything going now???

i hope they r missing me too..xD

quite a long time didn't meet n chat ad...T_T

i wish all of them r fine n well now~^^

DID YOU GUYS HEAR ME???!!!!haha

Oppss~~2am+ ad...i got to slp now...GOOD NIGHT guyss!!hehe

STRESS..........

haiizz....college life is really out of my imagination!!
i felt quite stress nowadays....
my subjects mostly is about calculation~
i still hv 2 face my most hatred subject-Quantitative studies(is mostly related 2 add maths) and the most blurred subject-Microeconomics!@@

i hv 2 rush 4 doing all the tutorial questions,assignments, presentations, tests n more....
1 by 1 non-stop coming 2 us...
i was extremely busy n felt exhausted 4 completing all those stuffs....
even my co-curricular(contemporary dance) also hv 2 do assignment too!><

i'm gonna mad n crazy soon!
now is just the beginning...but i had already suffered with this kind of life!
i think it is not much difference compare 2 my secondary-school life....it might be more tougher, busier n stress....
in fact,it is not fun or enjoyable as wat i thought be4 in my mind!T_T
Am i thinking negatively or exerting too much stress on myself??!!

HELP ME !!!><


*i may not free 2 update my blog temporary...

31/5/11

Yesss!!! i have passed my driving test on tis day!!
i was extremely happy!!haha
becoz my driving-trainer always scold me n he seems like predict tat i may failed the test....
he told me many times tat don't "break-record" among of his students !!
i hate him so much!!
i was totally inconfident during tat day....
but at last i have passed the test successfully!!
THX MY GOD!!xD
actually i also couldn't believe tat i will passed the test....

after i have finished my test....
the examiner told me tat i had did wrong during the test...i almost wanna cry once i heard tat...
finally when i truly look on the result, i just realized tat he was just teasing me !!
omg!!almost heart-attacked huh!!

MY TRAINER WAS DROPPED-SPECTACLES!!!haha


By the way, i was not dare 2 drive when i saw many cars on the road==
but i would try my best 2 attempt n adapt it...
hopefully i could do tat as soon as possible!!!